Monday, May 24, 2010
a 2nd life.
currently, i feel like i just died yesterday and got reincarnated in the morning. except that i don't exactly forget all that happened. they just suddenly do not matter anymore. so i guess that's just as good as "forgetting".i am not living with any regrets, though, for i knew all along that my instincts would never fail me. being Benjy, hope/trust overrides instincts. i disobeyed my instincts and it simply taught me a lesson. funny how i thought it would be a tough lesson to get through when a good night sleep and having good people around was all it took to have me passing with flying colors.looking back at the past life, it makes me proud. some call it stupidity, but i call it "combat training" i pitted myself against reality to do everything within my power to make a person happier unconditionally, despite knowing that this someone will not truly see it nor appreciate it and i might even end up falling hard from it.
this revealed a gift in me and from God; the gift of giving.having found this gift, how can my 2nd life not be any more meaningful? sure, there is still some work to be done before we proceed. waking up in a wrecked-up garden flooded by weeds and parasites ain't exactly anyone's idea of a perfect start. clearing these "life-suckers", however, not only brings new greens but also brings new hope that no darkness in life is permanent, nor are they controlled by anything other than ourselves. the lawn mower is there, so get cracking!a clearer, wider picture is revealed now. one weed-free garden opens our eyes to a world full of places which seek our attention. places with people who are in need for whatever we have to offer. some appreciate, some don't. some return, some simply keep taking. but everyone walk different paths and have different priorities. we all have a different variety of can-s, can't-s, want-s, don't want-s, need-s, don't need-s etc etc. and the list goes on and on and on. with humans being such individualistic creatures, it's never fair to impose personal expectations on anyone. besides, we've got the one almighty abundant gift, so what's the problem? :)"when you're given a 2nd chance for anything in life, you've gotta go all the way."
life's a liar;
5/24/2010 11:58:00 AM
it's never as simple as it seems.
